“I am my mother’s novel daughter: I have my duty to perform.”
These last few months had not been easy for me. I have conquered some of my fears and built up new ones. I have made some new friends and lost the old ones, but most importantly I have let go of my demons. I have learned to grow.
The idea of being a medical doctor to me was the only idea that matters most, one that should be taking place soon, the only idea that has to be put into perfection. Getting to know how a disease happens and the possible ways to treat it is what I really want to dig deep into, regardless of what I have involved myself in university life. Not getting things done according to my timetable sucks, I haven’t achieved anything medicine related lately (like getting my thesis presented), but, God has plans and I have to comply.
It was hard, however, to accept the situation God has decreed for me to have at this moment in life. Nevertheless, I’m so lucky to be surrounded by my parents and friends who are so supporting, understanding, and nice. The thing is that… you just gotta accept what is coming your way, after all the attempts, prayers and sweats, it is what it is. Be patient and stay hopeful.
I have come to the realization and have accepted that maybe I’m not so smart, unlike my other friends, but I want to be a doctor and I will try my hardest to become a good one.
Saya tidak pintar, tapi saya mau!
I have set some new short-term goals (some are long term), achievable ones, ones that can be measured before I continue my study The Clerkship alias Co-Assistant (estimated: November 2018), among many are:
- Be nicer to mom and dad, after all, they’re the only living humans who would do literally anything for my happiness and well-being.
- Fix my vertical relationship with God.
- Re-read and take notes on my preclinical books and presentations.
- Write at least 4 blog posts a month, write more poetries.
- Work or be an intern, if the time before clerkship is enough to do so.
- Frequently visit Bantul to see how Mama Piara is doing now that Tita is moving to Madiun to do her clerkship.
- Learn to cook edible and delicious foods, that being said; eat more vegetables and drink more fresh fruit juices!
- Teach younger kids or my juniors medicine/biology-related lessons (or any other lessons, really) for free.
- Take more beautiful photos and smile more.
- Have my own business. Or partnered to have one.
- Speak more English, learn more Latin (by reading Sobotta and memorizing human anatomy like its easy; 1 month = 1 book) and try learning French at least 2 words a day (before taking serious class after internship insyaAllah).
- Save more money, buy less, cook more, make more of something on my own.
- Take a better care of my body, my skin, and my hair.
- Call home more frequently, give encouragements and motivations to my younger cousins and speak more to Oma about all the good things in the world. Talk more politics with Papa, Papa Oni, Papa Han, Papa Ferry. Have more heart to heart talk with Mama and Tante Heni.
- Spend times for my best friends whenever they need someone to talk to or to cheer up their days. Basically just reach out to them before they do to me; understand that the amount of stress clerkship put to them is heavier than my not-yet-co-assisting life.
- Go somewhere nice, alone. A solo trip!
Anyway, I got sick a few days back. Got myself laying on a hospital bed because of Typhoid Fever. I need to really be careful about picking foods to eat, this was the second time I have to be hospitalized for the same cause. Photos were taken a day before being discharged, hence the happy face. Friends who came were all so nice, they brought foods and jokes. The nurses and doctors who took care of me were all amazing, I couldn’t thank them enough.
Moral of the story: be fit, watch carefully what you eat, being sick costs you more money than being healthy.
Special thank you to Inov and Naela for always being there whenever I’m sick, Team Hooray, to Tika and Eka for the never-ending support via the phone! Also Prita and Verlita who made the time to accompany me the last night in the hospital and had to sleep in a very limited space. Thank you to everyone who came and visited and all those who prayed for my recovery. Cheers!