“Late night when you need my love
Call me on my cell phone”
One had just finished his first clerkship rotation exam, one has just about to start her clerkship programme, one has just about to finish her undergraduate degree. The dynamics of our friendship does not end there, it has only just begun.
What constitutes a great friendship? Is it the frequency of meeting each other? For having a shared interest? Or having the same dark fears and struggles in life? It is trust and understanding.
These two future doctors are among the few beautiful human beings I have the luck to meet in Jogja. CU is currently doing his clerkship in Kebumen, Verlita will soon follow in Madiun and me, eventually, will follow later this year insyaAllah in Madiun as well. The three of us met in 2014, got sorted into the same discussion group in 2015 and clicked with each other right away. We went out almost every night to eat and just tell each other stories and listening to each other. Regardless of our personalities’ differences, they hear me, I hear them. They understand. With some people, you can talk and try sharing things that punch you in the heart but they don’t usually listen to you, let alone understand. They can pretend, of course, but deep down you know they don’t really care.
The Hotline Bling, we call ourselves, haven’t had a proper dinner since early this year; CU is in town so Verlita and he decided to come to pick me up and go out to eat. Today is actually the first day I went out since being discharged from the hospital. It was nice, we went to my favourite restaurant (CU decided to compromised his longing for Japanese foods and comply with my craving for western ones, Verlita was good with both options). I opted to dress in a long-sleeves black T-Shirt and topped it with a black midi short-sleeves dress with slit, grey trousers, houndstooth scarves and black wedges (forgot to take full body picture). Coincidentally, the two of them were also dressed in dark outfits, Verlita in her navy blouse and CU in his black polo shirt topped with a navy sweater (we forgot to take a proper picture, only selfies).
The 3-hour long dinner was filled with updates on each other lives, we were surprised with how things happened and how we faced it, how each of us overcame our problems. We discussed a lot of things, medicine and life-related. I like it with them that they do not push me or trying to correct me on doing things that I did, or how I responded to those things. They listened and nodded and I knew they understand. Isn’t it lovely, to have someone to truly listen to you? These two were brutally honest too, so I don’t see why not let the words flow and see how they react, so yes, we’re very honest. Boy, they let their words flow, too! If our dinner table was a bowl that could fill up with words, it would surely overflow.
The discussion led us to several conclusions, but the one I remember the most is: adapting and keeping yourself well-tempered regardless of what situation life puts you in is how you win. Since the number of stressors we face as medical students is already mountain-high, how we behave ourselves to our co-workers and people around us (family, friends, significant someone, the patients, people you meet at campus and hospital) have to always be good, even though it’s difficult sometimes to maintain such attitude. They also said that it does not matter how smart you are, if your attitude sucks, it will not take you anywhere, and that’s true. It is also a sign of maturity, being the bigger person. When you function only based on your good-moods, bad-moods, let’s just count on how many people you’re going to lose, even people who love you must be tired to watch such pattern of behaviour habitually and have to always put up with such grisly way of running a life. You lose people not because you don’t pay enough attention to them, you lose people because you only focus on what suits you best.
In the end, I thank you for sharing your thoughts, taking the time to listen carefully and not judging what each other said, to nurture each other, for having great taste in music and always in the mood for food! We’re going to be the best version of ourselves during our study and great doctors in the future insyaAllah. I’m happy and full and I left a chocolate bar in the car because I love you guys!